Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
