i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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