normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm like, not good at living.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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