i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Vodka?
Forever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
