i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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