His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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