One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
