Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
