You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
