god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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