Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
