I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
