It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
