Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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