Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dignity is for republicans.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
