do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
