I wish I could teleport
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
