Are we in a gay sports bar?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
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that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
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You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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