Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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