I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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