My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
