So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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