Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
