Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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