It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
