Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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