I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
