He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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