I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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