Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize