Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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