My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're too hungover to prance.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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