I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
