im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
