what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
