i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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