I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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