We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
