Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
