Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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