Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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