is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
