Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just high enough for therapy.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
