It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
