I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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