sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
