im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
