That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
