I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
