Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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