ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
