a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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