we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
