I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
