He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
