I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
