Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
