dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
