i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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