I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
