But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
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the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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