drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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