She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
