Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
