Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
